565 Week 5

This week was the week that I was able to make the most connections and found myself most inspired to step up and share my thoughts on the change process in my work environment.

Chapter Reflection and Connections: "Chapter 6: Instructional Leadership: Improving Student and Teacher Achievement" from How to Thrive as a Teacher Leader, really hit home this week as being timely and relevant. So many of topics discussed resonated with me. As this week marked history in Wisconsin as the Republican's underhandedly took away worker's rights to collectively bargain and passed the Budget Despair Bill, the reality of the huge hit to education has begun to set in. Word circulated at school yesterday that teachers are facing a salary loss of $20,000 to $30,000 annually. I love my profession...but...If we need to fill our classrooms with quality teachers in order to drive student achievement and shape our future, what QUALITY is going to be attracted by a hill of beans? If "student achievement begins and ends with the quality of the teacher" as Gabriel says, why are so many blind to the negative effects to come from this legislation? On Friday, staff received a letter from our school board president, forwarded to us via e-mail by our district administrator. The letter essentially communicated that our school will be run like a well-oiled business and an equitable teacher evaluation process will be put into place. NEVER, in my eleven years of teaching, have I seen a school board member walk through my classroom..."If your teachers do not respect you instructionally, you will find it difficult to succeed as a leader" (p. 25, How to Thrive as a Teacher Leader). The letter/e-mail succeeding in offending rather than inspiring; it angered rather than encouraged. I fully realize that change is going to happen, but it is difficult to "survive" change with poor leadership.

I found Gabriel's discussion of department heads/leaders to be interesting. He referred to the position as "an overwhelming charge." If it's such an overwhelming charge, why aren't department heads, in my school, held more accountable? Are there schools where department heads are truly department heads and not message deliverers or go-betweens with administration? Are there districts where there is a legitimate process for hiring or recruiting department heads? At one point I was English department head. I received a phone call during the summer from an administrator asking me if I'd be the English department head because the other person that was interested in the position was not who administration would prefer to have the position...They'd be so appreciative if I'd take the position...I did so, as I was excited at the prospect of having a hand in what we did as a department in the middle school although I did feel terrible about the manner in which I gained the position.

Another thing from Chapter 6 that I identified with was the discussion of curriculum mapping. As I've participated in oodles of curriculum writing and alignment activities, I found the question "What are the essential questions that will guide our focus and enhance student interest and inquiry?" (p.130). The last time we rewrote and aligned curriculum, the person leading the process told us we could ignore writing essential questions and add those "later" if need be. Shouldn't we have been inserviced on how to write essential questions, their importance to curriculum and student learning? As we move into rewriting curriculum again next year, I intend to be adamant about the importance of writing these questions and adding them to our units. I'm happy, though, that our curriculum maps offer a chart for our literature and English courses, outlines the essential knowledge for each grade level, offers activities, and plan for how to organize the year. We need to add differentiated lesson ideas as well as enrichment activities.

The Consider Creative Scheduling portion of Chapter 6 inspired me to propose an idea to my teammates for running a creative schedule once a week or every other week to allow "ketchup" time, enrichment time, etc. for students. We could offer remediation, peer tutoring, reteaching, study group, etc. opportunities. We do weekly drawings in each of our five classes for students to meet their external motivation needs (25 winners per Friday).

Reflection on and Connections with the Change Game: The Change Game was a quite a learning experience! We finally got on mojo on in year 3. I was surprised and frustrated by the extreme resistance to change and experienced the train moving forward even if everyone's not ready...they jumped aboard once the change began to take hold. I was also frustrated by our inability to be more successful. It was interesting to see the importance of data collection, talking and talking again, as well as surveying in the process of successful change. I think this is where our district falls short in making change successful. I'm hoping as future changes occur in our district, I am able to apply and share the strategies for addressing resistance with colleagues and leaders alike: building relationships, learning to talk about positives and negatives, data collection, planning for needs and concerns, sharing a vision, and high expectations across the board. The components of successful change hit home as I can more clearly pinpoint right where our district's shortcomings lie.

Moving Forward: Do I want to participate in Commencement? (Maybe.) Am I ready to dive into my Capstone project? (No.) What are my plans after grad school classes aren't eating up hours and hours of time each week? What will I do with myself? I may take a hiatus from technology...:)

565 Week 4

The Asking the Right Questions: A School Change Toolkit made oodles of points that resonated with me. The idea that the way we perceive things potentially being the greatest roadblock to change is so simplistic yet makes so much sense. Reflecting upon changes that I've been a part of, the ones that were mandated, unclearly communicated, and seemed to take form out of the blue were the ones that met with the most resistance. I particularly appreciated the steps to change as presented in the image below, as well as the point that no matter where people are in the process of change--what step they're at--they still need support and encouragement. Once the change initiative gains momentum, leaders cannot simply stand back and watch from the bleachers as the change becomes the new way.
I find that in many of the instances where I've been part of the change or have observed change taking place, leaders stepped out of the picture after Awareness and maybe popped in a bit during Transition. Some of this seems to rest on the fact that tough questions were asked, and answers weren't readily available...so avoidance was a (leader) survival strategy.

Chapter 5: Motivational Leadership: Building Climate and Community from How to Thrive as a Teacher Leader provided engaging reading material again this week. Gabriel commented on the importance of leaders not making a comment just to comment at risk of making the comment feel insincere. I can't help but connect this to report card comments. It's expected that I provide at least one comment for all of my 100+ students. There are numerous "canned" comment codes such as "positive participation," "doesn't work up to ability," and "many missing assignments." I wonder if these comments are viewed by parents as disingenuous. I try to provide a free form (individual) comment for each student, but sometimes, I just don't have anything to say...especially as I cannot repeat comments for any of the students each quarter! Ah! Another part of the chapter that particularly resonated with me is as follows:

"...the present undertones imply that there is always a way to make every child a genius.
Best practices, child study testing, and collaboration are valuable methods to helping
students achieve, but sometimes the painful truth, the truth that we are afraid to
whisper, is that some students may have achieved all that they can achieve...another
truth is that were are becoming more interested in rewarding effort over productivity."

I don't know how many times a counselor or administrator or a parent has said to me "but he/she worked so hard." If I ask how he/she was working, or whether we truly KNOW that he/she was working hard, I get scoffed at. At the 7th grade level, with NO reading specialist or extra reading support to offer children, it's difficult to help a child who's reading at a 3rd grade reading level in classrooms of 30. If that child achieve a "C," I am thrilled. I think that's great! Unfortunately, "others" don't see it in the same light. "We can't turn every outfielder into a Joe DiMaggio, regardless of what some may claim and regardless of how hard some might try." Differentiated strategies, best practices, and individualized attention sometimes just doesn't work, especially when parents and teacher are working harder than the child.

I am enormously curious as to how many districts allow teachers to evaluate leadership? Is this something leadership welcomes on an individual basis where this is done or is it district protocol? I cannot imagine the district I teach in ever welcoming this type of thing to take place! Our leadership, currently, is defensive, speaks loudly, and doesn't respond well to anyone disagreeing with him.


Things are still in limbo at the state level...offices outdoors so constituent can reach their representatives? Citizens not allowed to enter the Capitol. Senator Grothman spreading untruths about protestors - "slobs" and "a different breed of people." Wowser!

565 Week 3

Well, week 3 of class has been week 2 of experiencing emotional upheaval. Things in Madison continue to draw national as well as international attention, some views more slanted than others. Facebook continues to be infiltrated with political posts, personal pleas, etc. As I face uncertain changes in the all too near future as a public school teacher, it's difficult to know how this change will affect me personally, professionally, financially, etc. I daresay this trying time is immobilizing me a bit. I find myself unable to function at 100%, unable to multi-task as well as I usually can, and be the happy person I really like to be. I'm so damn emotional. I'm not equipped to deal with this type of change...change that hits home on too many fronts.

This week Who Moved My Cheese was an integral part of our understanding change. Years ago, our tech administrator at the time used the analogy of the cheese running out and moving to kick off technological change that would be occurring during that school year. The video was engaging and a nice addition to our study of change. As I read "Tune into what a New Generation of Teacher can do," I couldn't help but ponder the number of Baby Boomer and Generation X teachers I teach with who seem to be a Hem or Haw.

Chapter 4 in How to Thrive as a Teacher Leader was interesting! I especially appreciated the suggestion in the Ask for Help section: "We frequently receive unreasonable goals or mandates...stress over them...beat our brains...even when we feel that we are being asked the impossible. Instead of inflicting this kind of silent torture...ask [administrator/colleague] how he would approach it." Too often, I think teachers harbor the stresses of the job and do not ask for help or feedback for fear of retribution. I'm giving myself permission to advocate for myself next time an unreasonable request is made rather than mumble to myself, be ticked off, and harbor resentment.

There were a variety of things mentioned in Chapter 4 that seemed backhanded to me. One is on page 94, paragraph one: "Sometimes withholding a solution can be another valuable exit strategy...when it seems that the team is weary or frustrated...[present] it at the end of a meeting [and] they will not feel that you steamrolled the decision-making process...have a trump card ready, something that you are confident will tip the balance in your favor." This would make me feel slimy which is possibly why I don't want a large or public leadership position. An additional statement that bothered me is on page 95, paragraph one: "...when you get a strong majority of people behind you, it's time to pull the train out of the station." I realize that 100% consensus can be unrealistic but I don't like the tone of this section of the book.

The Beloit College Mindset List was intriguing! It made me feel a bit aged as well as reflective of just how drastically schooling has changed since I was a high schooler. That list along with the article discussing Millennials reinforces the necessity of me providing opportunities for students to move about the room, experience instant gratification, create and facilitate collaborative experiences using technology, and stay connected with the world.

565 Week 2

This week has been challenging. Governor Walker's budget repair bill, the media surrounding it, and the emotional roller coaster in my school building has left me exhausted. I think I've progressed through the four of the five stages of grief this week. Am wondering if and when acceptance will come...I feel defeated and frightened.

Throughout this past week, I spent a considerable amount of time considering what leadership role I should take on the 7th grade floor and within my building. I decided to keep my cool, as I wanted to attack on facebook and scream from the rooftops, and speak privately with most of my focus on listening to others vent. I cyberlobbied and made phones calls to Madison to voice my opinion and spent obscene amounts of time following the news as well as reading articles forwarded by colleagues and e-mails from WEAC. As the protesting in Madison intensified so did my emotions. The doer part of me feels guilty for not being in Madison, protesting with my state-wide colleagues. But, I know that doing the job I'm dedicated to in the classroom is important.

This week's readings of Chapters 2 and 3 from How to Thrive as a Teacher Leader left me wondering how I can influence future hirings in our building and be an active participant in the interview process. One line from "Chapter 3: Interpersonal Leadership" especially struck me. "[Leaders] need to know their teachers well enough to determine when they truly feel passionate about something versus when they are annoyed." I feel that too often, and especially this week as our passion boiled over, administration viewed our emotions as annoyance when in fact it was much deeper than that. This led to a few confrontations. I've always felt it important for leaders to know their colleagues; this week further reinforced my conviction. In "Chapter 2: Strategic Leadership," Gabriel stated the importance of getting a feel for applicants' work ethics, "seeing how willing they are to sponsor activities not attached to stipends." With the state of education in flux, this statement holds a lot of water....I'll just leave it at that.

As I make my way through the Review Guide to Using Data in School Improvement Efforts, I've been struck by a couple of things. One, is the importance of USING data as "evidence of student learning." We've begun to collect data in our district from benchmark tests but have yet to DO anything WITH the data. Second, "schools that are committed to using data to guide their work allocate time for teachers to meet, discuss, reflect upon data, and make informed instructional decisions." I'm waiting for this to happen but am not holding my breath! I've tried to "lead" by speaking with my direct administrator as well as department chairs about frustrations with how we're collecting data and what we're doing with it to no avail. As I continue into through the guide, I have a feeling I will run across many more items of interest to share with leadership. Sharing via a document such as this is non-threatening and non-confrontational, a bit unlike me, but the right path to take.

"Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd."
-Voltaire

565 To Lead or not to Lead...

Currently, I truly have chosen to NOT lead and have made a conscious choice to focus on what I can control--my classroom "job," my grad coursework, and being a mother and wife. I used to be involved on numerous leadership levels. My second year of teaching I was our Associations vice-president and continued in the presidential and vice-presidential roles for quite a few years. I was a 6 + 1 Traits trainer for our district as well as English department chair. In order to "survive," I stepped out of the limelight. I lead silently by sharing resources and aiding others with technology. I have been asked on numerous occasions in the past few years to lead PLCs (professional learning community); I said no. As much as a part of me cringes at not being involved in a manner that truly impacts and leads change, I am only one person and their are only 24 hours in a day. Just this past week a colleague, who regularly harasses me about being more vocally involved in our building as she thinks I can be a strong agent for change, was badgering me about leading a PLC and considering becoming the Reading Department Chair next year. I am truly flattered...But am choosing to still say, "No." Even as I type this, a part of me is saying whoa, you are truly choosing to stay behind the curtain.

As I read one of the articles that were part of our Monday night class jigsaw a particular comment resonated with me. It referenced the fact that our jobs as teachers are static. The antsy-ness I often feel regarding my job is the part of me that wants to lead. This appeased me a bit...to be able to put reason to my rhyme.

This past week I've been haunted by a quote from Spiderman: "With great power there must also come — great responsibility!" As a classroom teacher I feel powerful in the sense that I have a hand in the future. At times, it feels like an almost overwhelming responsibility. I am haunted by a nagging feeling that this course is going to re-instill the the leadership itch within me. About nine years ago, I began pursuing a degree in Leadership. I stopped taking courses about halfway through as I was so turned off by the administration I worked with on a daily basis. Will I ever finish the degree? Great question!

I especially enjoyed Patrick Awuah's TED talk on Educating Leaders that was part of this week's work. It was quite moving as well as inspirational.

On a personal note, this week has been quite challenging. As my blog is on the web, I won't post details, but I hope to look back on this post a year from now and be able to chuckle...I hope.

Getting There

Anyone else experiencing issues with Firefox? Just curious.

So, I'm a bit overwhelmed with my portfolio artifacts. I pulled so many in and am now facing adding genuine reflections--reflections that show my passion for technology and my drive to enhance my students' education. Friday night, I have a date with my portfolio.

This week has been a frustrating one for my students with their PhotoStory3 digital stories. We've all learned a ton, including our tech dept.! At the end of this project, students are to save their stories as a wmv file but are then unable to open the wmv file unless I log in for them...frustrating process. A couple of my students actually experienced their jump drives and files being corrupted during the saving process. All my instructional technology knowledge is of no use with these types of issues...maybe I need to pursue a programming degree... understanding more about computer systems and how they work, etc. Isn't that how we began this program?

Ah! Not technology related, my daughter had a cortisone shot this morning--first time. She's one of the 5 to 7% that swells from the injection. Unreal.

Reason to celebrate? Grades are done and tomorrow is Friday. The light at the end of the tunnel isn't quite so hazy.

Still Muddling Through

At the forefront and some reasons to celebrate: Tomorrow my digital storytellers begin recording their VoiceOvers. I've arranged for my classes to record six at a time Monday through Thursday this week...They're nervous; I'm excited. Late last week, I moved my digital tellers out of the oldest lab in our building into one of the newest--the library lab--where students experienced less difficulties saving and accessing their stories. We've found flash drives to be a necessity for the projects in the future as students with large stories aren't allotted enough hard drive space to save their stories. Luckily, the tech office has been very flexible in allotting students extra hard drive space! Additionally, my students have been very flexible with problems we've encountered. On top of that, the library media specialist has been my wing-man with this project! I'm so lucky to have support!

I'm hoping to get my VoiceOver group started and then work with a small groups of students on how to make your own music in PhotoStory and how to complete the citation slide at the end of the presentation. We've found that numerous public domain sites for music and sound effects are blocked at school...arghh!

I FINALLY have gathered and linked all my artifacts for the NETS for Teachers within my portfolio. Now I have to neaten things up! Looking at classmates' portfolios has been hugely helpful as it gives me an idea of what I'd like the feel of my portfolio to be--the color schemes, the text, the organization of, etc.
Backtracking: Unfortunately I'm still experiencing many difficulties with portfolio access. Some days I cannot access my site for a whole day; other days it's only for a few hours...Sometimes the editor feature locks up and my changes won't save. Ughh.

Additionally, for some reason, my laptop's connectivity changes to a limited connectivity status which allows me NO connection to the Internet. A source shows up that I cannot get rid of and takes over my computer...I've lost hours and days of work, literally. But, what doesn't destroy you, makes you stronger, right?

Looking ahead: I am nervous about the remaining steps of the portfolio process and actually getting mine done! I'm nauseated regarding how far behind I've grown. This course, coupled with higher expectations and more work at school (day job) and my husband working out of state during the week, has brought me to whits end...I truly wonder if I have what it takes to finish this course as well as the program.

I have less than 48 hours to complete 2nd quarter comments and grades for my students, so that's next on the list this evening. I am thankful half this school year is over and excited at how far many of my students have come!

Loser alert: I failed my team Thursday evening when I fell asleep cuddling my son who wasn't feeling well...I didn't wake up in time for our meeting.