565 To Lead or not to Lead...

Currently, I truly have chosen to NOT lead and have made a conscious choice to focus on what I can control--my classroom "job," my grad coursework, and being a mother and wife. I used to be involved on numerous leadership levels. My second year of teaching I was our Associations vice-president and continued in the presidential and vice-presidential roles for quite a few years. I was a 6 + 1 Traits trainer for our district as well as English department chair. In order to "survive," I stepped out of the limelight. I lead silently by sharing resources and aiding others with technology. I have been asked on numerous occasions in the past few years to lead PLCs (professional learning community); I said no. As much as a part of me cringes at not being involved in a manner that truly impacts and leads change, I am only one person and their are only 24 hours in a day. Just this past week a colleague, who regularly harasses me about being more vocally involved in our building as she thinks I can be a strong agent for change, was badgering me about leading a PLC and considering becoming the Reading Department Chair next year. I am truly flattered...But am choosing to still say, "No." Even as I type this, a part of me is saying whoa, you are truly choosing to stay behind the curtain.

As I read one of the articles that were part of our Monday night class jigsaw a particular comment resonated with me. It referenced the fact that our jobs as teachers are static. The antsy-ness I often feel regarding my job is the part of me that wants to lead. This appeased me a bit...to be able to put reason to my rhyme.

This past week I've been haunted by a quote from Spiderman: "With great power there must also come — great responsibility!" As a classroom teacher I feel powerful in the sense that I have a hand in the future. At times, it feels like an almost overwhelming responsibility. I am haunted by a nagging feeling that this course is going to re-instill the the leadership itch within me. About nine years ago, I began pursuing a degree in Leadership. I stopped taking courses about halfway through as I was so turned off by the administration I worked with on a daily basis. Will I ever finish the degree? Great question!

I especially enjoyed Patrick Awuah's TED talk on Educating Leaders that was part of this week's work. It was quite moving as well as inspirational.

On a personal note, this week has been quite challenging. As my blog is on the web, I won't post details, but I hope to look back on this post a year from now and be able to chuckle...I hope.